The Big C

I have the Big C.

What does that mean?

How has that affected my life?

Am I a different person?

Do I look and act differently?

How do people react to me?

Does the Big C define me?

Of course my life is different because of the Big C. My outlook on life has completely changed, I mean it has to. Knowing that everything in your life is now looked through a different lens, you re-evaluate everything. What was important to you before, may not be so anymore. Relationships and love is what matters. How I treat other people matters, how I connect with others and give of my time and energy to people. Everything seems to be a C word nowadays. Chemotherapy, Cancer, Communicate, Courage, Comfort, Compassion, Connect, Community, Comments, Cards, Care…

I know I physically look differently. My long brunette head of hair is gone, my eyebrows are going now too and the dark circles under my eyes are more visible, no matter how much concealer I coat on. My chest that once occupied bras is now lopsided and doesn’t even fill a tank top. Bruises and scars now occupy where drains came from my body, ports went in and a 9″ almost perfectly straight scar cuts my left chest in two halves. But my physical appearance is not what I mean.

Do I look differently to others as I reach out to them.
Can they tell a difference in my kindness, compassion and love?
I know I feel different, I hope they feel the difference through my sincerity.
I hope that the Big C in me changes others too.

Does the Big C define me?
Absolutely!

For Me, the Big C is Christ!

I am changed by Christ, I am a better person because I have the Big C.
My Big C has complete control over the little c of cancer that took residence in my body.
Christ has this covered! I chose to focus on the Big C who took residence in my body way before the little c and who embodies every cell inside me. Every since I was a child, I have known Christ. I feel His presence in my daily life. He comforts me and I trust Him completely.

It’s so funny, some people even have a hard time talking about what they call the big c, they want to avoid that I have been diagnosed with cancer, they don’t know how to react. Cancer patients need Christ-like friends and family, that’s all, it’s simple. People who reach out with love and genuine kindness. A simple call, or card shows compassion and love. So take out of our vocabulary that the big c is cancer… it’s not. There are so many other c words bigger than cancer. Fill your day with Compassion and Care and Christ will fill every cell of your being with Love. Attitude is everything, so my attitude is…

For me, there can be no bigger C than our Lord…CHRIST.

For You created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb. Psalm 139:13

Grace embraced today as I begin my week of strength and healing, preparing for my 4th Chemo on July 19th, with my Big C carrying me each day. Prayers that I remain healthy and my blood count remain high enough for treatment to fight the little c’s within me. 

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