Tuesday, March 20, 2012
I discovered a lump in my left breast while doing a breast exam in the shower.
For a moment life paused…
It took my breath away, my mind began to race.
How long has it been there? How did I miss it? I remember the last time I did a breast exam was in December after watching “Five” with my daughter. I think the Lord wanted me to watch that movie…about five women each individually fighting breast cancer. Well it worked and if I had not watched the movie and did a breast exam in December, I may be wondering today how many months or years it has been there.
I shared my lump discovery with my husband that night, realizing that timing is everything and grace fills my life.
God had provided my husband, Kevin with two job offering last December. One job in Glenwood Springs Co, where he and I would have to live apart for 6 months while I sold a house and finished out the school year at my office. And one opportunity at the University of Chicago Hospitals. There were so many reason why we wanted to move to Colorado…the fresh air of the mountains, the love of two of my sisters and their families, the dream we have talked about for our 27 year marriage. But something said, it’s not time….or more accurately, some one said it.
The reality of what I am about to experience would have been eternally harder with him 1,100 miles away.
I pushed the thought out of my head and tried to sleep, because as divine grace was on my side, I had a OB/GYN appointment in the morning about another matter.
Although Dr. Culbertson has a specialization and doesn’t practice general GYN any longer, I was reassured that I could still have her look at the lump.
I leaned over to kiss my husband good-night and told him that I knew it was cancer, but he was encouraging that it will be something else.
I did not sleep much that night.
Grace embraced: The fact that Kevin was laying next to me and I knew I would be safe.